Brother to Brother

Date: November, 1975
Location: The Forbidden Forest
Characters: Sirius and Regulus Black
Why: The Brothers Black have a little chat about life, family, and Reg's slow road to insanity
Status: Private
Incomplete.

The dull crunching noise of dead leaves beneath his feet was a bit unnerving, especially this late at night. He had always liked the forest, that wasn't the problem. It was the conversation he was about to have with his brother and the pending doom that may or may not follow it. He had been fighting himself on having this conversation for quite some time now, but after the ordeal at the ball with Meda and his other cousins, he couldn't keep putting this front up...at least not all the time. Meda knew now how he felt and that he was going to be there for her no matter what, but he decided it was time Sirius knew he didn't think him a blood traitor. He needed some sanity and consistecy in his world and he certainly wasn't going to get that at home with their parents who, over the summer, had driven him to the edge he was teetering on right now. No one knew the sort of things that ran through his mind, though he seemed as sane as could be. No one knew about the cuts on his arms or where that black eye he claimed he got in a "duel" really had come from. Someone needed to know....

He sat back on an old, dead stump and sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. He asked Sirius to meet him here and he only hoped that he'd show. Some part of him had a bad feeling about the whole thing though, that something might go wrong and Sirius would hex him to oblivion and leave him there. But that wasn't the Sirius he knew. That wasn't the brother he had grown up with and he could only hope that some part of the boy he had played hide and seek with and who consoled him when he had fallen off his broom the first time (after laughing of course) was still in there somewhere. So there he sat and waited....

Something had seemed different in Regulus, at the ball it was almost as if he had changed, went back to the little brother he knew before he was corrupted by their family and Sirius was exiled. Although he was hesitant to actually go into the forest at night to meet with Regulus, Sirius wasn't able to quell the curiousity that had been prodded. He of course put into a great deal of thought that it was all just a set-up, that the moment he entered the Forbidden Forest he wouldn't come back. But somehow he sensed the sincerity in his brother's voice, and he had to know what was going on. It wasn't long before he had come to the edge of the dark wooded area, it was all silent save a few of the nocturnal animals that came alive when the moon rose high. The faint sound of owls hooting as they hunted, it was all familiar, him often being out after hours anyway. He would pull out his wand and the tip immediately shone bright, non-verbal spells had definitely come in handy given his ways.

He would hesitantly walk on in, his eyes cautiously scanning the trees looking for anything that seemed out of place. It wasn't exactly fear that gripped him, more along the lines of a nervous aniticipation, it was strange to actually hear Regulus be anything but a typical pureblood bigot towards him. Sirius kept his pace, walking slow trying to keep the noise level at a minimum, but it was a futile thing, the twigs and leaves would snap and crunch underneath his footsteps. Anyone would hear him a mile away. But he couldn't force himself to turn back, he kept going, heading straight for the place he was told to go to. He had finally came to the clearing and in the distance he saw his brother sitting on a stump waiting..... Sirius quickly dimmed his light and hid behind a tree for a moment, waiting to see if it was a trap or not. Everything seemed to be square so he approached Regulus, "I'm here." Thats all he would say, he would stand a few feet away, ever ready to defend himself if the need was called for.

If only Sirius knew that it wasn't a sudden change of heart that had struck him, that he had been being driven mad by their mum for years and that he never had considered Sirius a traitor. The night mum blasted his name off the tapestry it had taken everything in him to keep his mouth shut from protesting. Instead he had sat back in the corner trying to appear as if it were anger at Sirius shaking him and not pure hatred for the very act and person executing it.

His ears pricked as he heard footsteps approaching and instinctintviely he drew his wand, peering into the darkness blindly searching for something he couldn't see. But the wandlight in the distance eased his nerves and he got to his feet, stowing his wand back away in the pocket of his jacket. He took a deep breath and got to his feet, walking a few paces closer to his brother. "It's just us." He stated matter-of-factly as if he could tell Sirius was worried. "Well...mostly." He added as an owl hooted overhead and an the scraping of leaves coupled with squabbling growls came from somewhere deeper in the forest.

His hands slipped into the pockets of his jeans and he surveyed Sirius blankly for a moment before tugging his left sleeve up to his elbow. "She's driving me mad, you know." He took his wand out of his pocket, the light erupting from the end which was pointed at his arm. Angry red cuts and old dulling scars marked his young flesh in an unnatural sort of way and he offered a small smile.

He watched as Regulus stood once he noticed that he had arrived. That would cause Sirius to clinch his wand tighter, and even more so as Regulus approached him. It was definitely strange actually speaking with a member of his family and no insults or anger was being shown. It's been so long he's nearly forgot what it's like to actually have a family. Besides the fact he has found a stable home with the Potters, but it never did fill the void fully of him being banished and branded a traitor. His deep brown eyes would dart back and forth, scanning their environment, just waiting for something to happen any minute, the nervous feeling caused him to shuffle his feet a bit, the leaves and twigs snapping under his weight. Regulus assured him it was just the two of them out there, but that did little to console his wariness, in fact he expected something like that to be said, still Sirius couldn't force himself to leave.

His attention was brought down to his arm as Regulus rolled his sleeve up revealing the scars and cuts laid upon the surface of his flesh. Sirius would quirk his brow as he looked over the wounds, obviously they were self inflicted. Their mother had a way of pushing people to the limits of their sanity, and he knew the moment he said "She" that it was in fact Walburga Black. Sirius seemed to have let down his guard a bit, enough to actually feel a slight bit of comfort. "You know that woman." He began telling his brother as he raked a hand through his thick black hair. "She's as corrupt as they come, I don't see how you've managed to stay there as long as you have." His words were plain, and he knew he did little to console him but he couldn't think straight when the mention of his family had been brought up. They despised him and he them in return. He did have a sympathetic look in his eyes, and he hoped Regulus would see that.

He could tell that Sirius was nervous and he completely understood the reasoning behind it. He really had no reason to trust him and the fact he was even there really astounded him, but he was glad that he was and they could talk without the prying eyes of their cousins around to ruin everything.

He rolled his sleeve back down and stowed his wand back into his pocket, talking a few steps closer to Sirius. "I know how she is and since you left it's only gotten worse." A look of pain swept his eyes more from the pain of the memories than the cuts on his arm..he'd gotten use to physical pain by now. "They want me to join up, you know, with Him." He said with an almost disgusted tone. "They keep telling me that it's all on my shoulder now since you coped to be a blood traitor." He gave a shiver just thinking about it. "I've needed to talk to you for a long time, Siri, but I just couldn't, not with Cissy and Bella around." For the first time in what seemed like an eternity he looked into his brother's eyes. There he could read the sympathy and he imagined he must look pitiful and pleading right now, the so called "embodiment of the pure higherarchy" fit to crumble. "I just can't do it." He sank down to his knees and covered his face in his arms.

He couldn't believe he was crumbling like this, being so weak, but he figured that he always had been anyway...after all he didn't have the guts to do what Sirius had done. And he knew that Sirius would not judge him for the state he was in...the only one he could show weakness like this to was his brother. "I just can't...."

It was all starting to make sense, everything, Regulus seemed haunted, the constant bombardment their family would put on him. After all, he was their hope. Sirius could just imagine the pressure his brother must be feeling, it would be enough to drive any man to the brink of sanity, and in a moment of uncommon kindness Sirius let down his guard and allowed his brotherly instinct to take over. The tense posture faded as he slid his wand back into the pocket of his jeans, the calm the night brought with it didn't seem so unsettling any longer. It was now all just as it seemed, the two of them standing there, one Black confiding in another. Strange, yet that was the very scene that unfolded.

It wasn't suprising to hear that they wanted him to join the ranks of Voldemort, after all it was what was expected of himself before he betryed the family and had to flee. He knew the pressure of having to suffer the hate, the constant rants about pureblood dominance, but irony has a way of making things humorous. The purebloods all serving a wizard that is not of their own purity, yet they dare not question this stupidity out of fear. That was true weakness, but of course they none would see it. These thoughts were ones he pondered on regularly, and it seemed his brother had finally realized none of it made sense either, but his young mind didn't seem to be able to withstand such torture, it was pushing him ever closer to the edge.

This all became apparent as Regulus crumbled into a heap before him. He knew well what he meant about Bellatrix and Narcissa ever watchful, making sure those they associated with stood true to their beliefs and standing. Slowly his hand would reach out, coming to a rest on his brother's shoulder, his hatred for his family swelling up inside, but the love he still kept for them slowly taking control. "Theres always a choice Regulus." He began speaking, his voice slightly above a whisper, and for the first time since he ran away there was actually sincerity in his tone. "You do not have to suffer that bigotry, you have a choice, it is you who decides your path, no one else." He finished, his voice fading at the end, his hand would squeeze gently to the shoulder it was resting on. Head bowed, brown eyes staring down at his brother's heaped posture.

If only it all would make sense to him. The conflicting thoughts in his mind were muddled together, but perfectly separate all at once. His mind couldn't handle the bombardment of "what he should be" according to his family versus what it thought he should be. He only wished that he had the gall to do what Sirius had done, but knew that despite the fact he wanted to he never would and that in the coming years it would consume him to the point of no return and that revelation wasn't exactly something he was looking forward to and his young mind just couldn't wrap itself around that. If only he knew how soon that complete consumption would come just a few short years from now.

"They want me to "carry on the legacy" as they put it." He muttered, damning the very thought. Bella or Cissy would be much more suited to take on that task, but he being the only young male heir to the "Noble and Most Ancient House of Black" it was up to him...which made his stomah churn uuneasily. He had realized the sheer stupidity behind the pureblood "cause" soon after Sirius had left, but he could only act on his disreguard for it in small ways, like his meeting Meda to defend that Tonks chap.

"My choices aren't like they were for you, Siri." He looked up at his brother when he felt his hand on his shoulder and he shifted his weigt back onto his toes, pushing himself up to his feet, his own hands coming to rest on his brother's shoulders. "For you it was belong or don't to put it simply, but for me...." He gave something like a shudder just thinking about it. "It would be much more than having my name blasted off the family tree."

He couldn't actually believe what he was seeing, Regulus confiding in him, it was nothing short of astounding. He never thought his brother would ever realize the ignorance their family spoon fed him from the moment of his birth. But lo and behold, the chap sat right here in front of him, knowing what was expected of him to be wrong. Sirius couldn't help but feel sympathy, though everything he was told him he shouldn't be out here, shouldn't be associating with his brother. He knew all too well how his family was, the pressure they put on him before he ran away. Once Regulus stood and put his hands on his shoulders Sirius found himself tensing up again, the thought of it all being a set-up still lingered but he just couldn't force himself to pull away.

"Their legacy." He began speaking, the obvious distaste dripping from his words, and he turned his back to Regulus as a test of trust. "To them thinking so highly of purity, they've been blinded to the fact that they actually serve one of those they so despise." It made no sense to him, and every excuse he heard just showed him how dumb they actually were. Purebloods cowering before a half-blood, the thought forced a small laugh, followed by a disgusted head shake. Taking a few steps away, back still turned, Sirius moved his gaze towards the canopy of the trees, eyeing an owl perched on a branch high above. "As for your choices Reggie, you have any choice you want, you just can't allow fear to control your moves."

A heavy sigh would follow his words, Sirius knew that if Regulus would betray the family like he himself supposedly did, it wouldn't just be a brand and a removal from the tree, it meant death. There was nothing more to it than that, and he was sure his brother knew this fact as well, most likely the reason behind the self mutilation. Sirius wasn't sure how to handle the situation nor was he sure he had the right words to say, he ran away without thought, found a new home and regained some of his happiness. But it wasn't that simple for Regulus. Much more dangerous in fact, "Regulus, theres always a choice." He would repeat the phrase again, knowing that whatever choice he did make most likely wouldn't be one he wanted either way.